How to Put a Beautiful & Delicious Cheese Board Together in Minutes
I have a magical superpower and it might not be what you’d expect from a Bay Area professional organizer. I’m a wizard when it comes to knocking out a gorgeous and delicious cheese board - sometimes in minutes flat. I’m telling you, it’s not as hard as it seems, and you’ll delight in seeing faces light up as the gaze upon your beautiful board. Whether you’re hosting a dinner for two, a small, last-minute gathering, or a big party, I’ve got you covered.
In addition to being an organizational designer, I own a little wine and cheese shop called Little Vine in San Francisco (hey hey North Beach!). When we opened 11 years ago, I knew very little about cheese - beyond how much I loved to eat it. It turns out there’s a lot to know! Cheese is a lot like wine, with regions, terroir, milk types and star producers. I think this is why folks can get intimidated.
STEP #1: ALL ABOARD
First up: get yourself a board. Or a plate. Whatever you choose, avoid any patterns or designs (I feel this way about most servingware). Let the cheese and their accouterments be the star! You can’t go wrong with a simple wooden board, and even a plain white plate can make a beautiful substitute. Don’t worry too much about the size. If it’s slightly too big, things can be spread out and filled in with greens and fruit (see below). If it’s on the smaller side, you can stack everything higher. This lovely board, created by a cheesemonger at Union Larder for my son’s 6th birthday party is an example of creating height on a relatively small board. Experiment to figure out what works best for you.
STEP #2: CHEESE, PLEASE
This is where the brain can start to scramble. Fear not! Don’t get overwhelmed by contrasting milk types, textures, colors or regions; keep it simple. What do YOU like? (Told you it was simple.) Grab two or three of your favorites. When I was a cheesemonger, I could sell my favorites with so much enthusiasm. What I noticed is that most folks don’t want to know every little detail about the cheese and how to create the “perfect” paring. They just want something that tastes good! And feel free to pick the brains of your local cheese purveyors if you get stuck. Any ‘monger worth their weight in gouda will be more than happy to guide you.
Don’t like “stinky” cheese? Don’t worry about it! You can’t go wrong with a brie* alongside one or two hard cheeses. Aim for contrast in color or texture (this’ll make your board POP). Three soft cheeses are delicious, but less visually and textually interesting, so mix it up!
On a budget? You can make a very special cheese board with only one cheese! In fact, sometimes this is the way to go even if you’re not on a budget! Think a wheel of brie on its own, or thick, shaved parmesan (sliced with a vegetable peeler). Totally baller move.
STEP #3: CUTTING THE CHEESE (ahem)
Cut the hard cheese into bite sized pieces. If cutting into cubes, keep them on the smaller side to prevent it from looking too 1950s. You can see that I have used cubes sparingly on this board and they don’t give the feeling of those massive orange cubes on a toothpick. Unless it’s a soft cheese, don’t leave it in a big piece. No one likes to hack into a hard or semi-hard cheese and it makes a board look messy from the first cut.
Quick tip: If you have two hard cheeses, cut them into shapes that are different from each other. I’m partial to a matchstick cut and a triangle cut (leave the rind on one side, as shown in this photo), but large crumbles work well too.
STEP #4: IT’S TIME FOR COMPANY
Want to add meat? Salami is always a crowd pleaser. Fold it into florets and you’ll impress any guest. (Get the deli to slice it thin.) Prosciutto also makes folks happy and looks great rolled up into “roses”. This board from Little Vine has a few examples of how to plate your meat. Check out YouTube for lots of great tutorials.
Looking for other items besides meat? You likely have a bunch of fun things already in your fridge and pantry that’ll make this board complete! Think about colors, textures and flavors. I love to slice caperberries in half and serve in a little dish with salami. A tiny dish and spoon with just about any kind of jam is beautiful and yummy. Nuts, fruit (fresh or dried) - think bite sized. Thin breadsticks in a tall glass look lovely if you want to go higher, not wider. Include chunks of chocolate or small cookies in an after dinner cheese board.
Crackers and/or bread: These can serve as part of the board’s look, or can be plated separately in a bowl or basket. A little merchandising trick is: “abundance sells!” It’s better to really fill up a smaller vessel than start off with a half full larger one.
Something green: You’ll increase the wow factor by at least 100 when you throw a few greens on there. It’s magic. I have plucked filler greenery from a flower arrangement to tuck into the corners. Rosemary is always a great bet and looks particularly festive around the holidays. (Bonus: It grows all over the place here in San Francisco - just take a walk and see what you find!)
OPTIONAL: TO LABEL OR NOT TO LABEL?
I don’t think that labelling is a must, but it can be fun for your guests and an ice breaker. It’s also helpful if you have an unpasteurized cheese that’s unsuitable for pregnant folks. Here mine are just thick paper taped to toothpicks (basic, but you can’t tell, can you?). In addition to the name, you might include the type of milk the cheese is made from, it’s place of origin or it’s age. If you can draw, make little signs with cow/sheep/goat heads on it - so adorable!
And there you have it! Four steps to a cheese board that’ll have people talking for ages. Don’t be afraid to practice and experiment! It takes time to find your cheese groove, but once you get there, you will have a new superpower, too. :)
*If you take nothing else away, my pro tip is to go with a triple creme (brie) like Brillat Sauvarin, D’Affoinois or a ripe Mt. Tam. Not a double creme (also very good, but trust me). People go crazy for them and you will come out a hero no matter what else you put out, I guarantee.
